


These Chickadees Will be the Death of Me

by Varmint



Series: Genma Shiranui: Shinobi Mother Hen Extraordinaire [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Family, Family Feels, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture, Interrogation, Revenge, Sequel, Threat of Bodily Harm, Threats of Violence, nothing happens though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2020-07-10 15:16:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19907848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varmint/pseuds/Varmint
Summary: The Konoha 12 are on the hunt for Itachi Uchiha. The rest Konoha is preoccupied with trying to quell the Akatsuki threat. And all Genma Shiranui truly wants is for some peace and quiet... which is something he knows will never be his as long as the kids remain fixated on him supposedly being someone important in their lives. Sequel to Genma Shiranui: Mother Hen Extraordinaire!





	1. Chapter 1

_Prologue_

The man before them had blue skin, gill-like markings on his cheeks, and towered over all of them in a way that they had only truly seen with the likes of Ibiki Morino.

"You sure you want to do this?" Naruto asked her softly, which immediately made Ino want to glare at the idiot.

Of course she wanted to do this! What Itachi had done to _their_ Gen-Gen was inexcusable! And the fact that the rest of the adults in their life wanted to keep everything hush-hush only made this situation a thousand times worse.

If they wanted answers, they were going to have to look for them themselves. It didn't matter if they were only twelve years old and only genin, they were going to have to take matters into their own hands yet again. The adults weren't even trying to cover up their tracks anymore- they were blatantly keeping important information from them because they thought their young age impeded them from being useful or even understanding the minimum of what was happening.

Currently, the man that had been capture on the same day that Gen-Gen had been mutilated by Itachi Uchiha was feigning sleep. Ino wasn't dumb enough to fall for the act- he had been aware of their visit from the moment they had stepped into his cell. She was sure of it from the way that his face was _too_ relaxed. No one, no matter how strong, would be as experienced as this guy was supposed to be and in complete ease within enemy territory.

"Kisame Hoshigaki." She repeated the nin's name for the hundredth time that night- she had memorized the file her father had on him, as well as all the information the rest of her friends had been able to find. "Native of Kirigakure. One of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. Traitor of both factions. And a member of the Akatsuki. Have I missed anything?"

At first, there was no response from the chained behemoth. But Ino didn't believe the forced relaxation he was trying to portray. She was more than smart enough to fall for the ruse. Her father had taught her better than that. Asuma Sensei had explained the seriousness of the Akatsuki threat to them. And being around the likes of her friends all her life had taught her how to read all sorts of personalities without even having to break a sweat.

Kisame was a challenge, she was not blind to this. But he wasn't an impossible challenge. The only issue was that the time she would need to thoroughly break him was not time she had.

He didn't say anything. He just kept quiet, head hung low with his chin heavy against his chest. His eyes were closed.

With a roll of her eyes, Ino sent one stiff nod towards Naruto. From his spot in the doorway, the blonde offered a stiff nod of his own. Then he stepped outside the door to stand guard.

Shino, who had been otherwise quiet to her right for the past few minutes, let out an unamused scoff. Then he stepped forward, raising one hand to Konoha's captive.

Ino took one look at him and understood exactly what it was that he wanted to do. Under any other given circumstances, she would have pushed him off, told him that she would find a way to find the information they needed without the need of such force. But right now, Gen-Gen's life was on the line. And she wasn't about to hold the Aburame back from what they knew would be an effective torture tool.

"If I were you, I would open my eyes right now." Ino called out to the Hoshigaki, earning a barely perceivable fluttering of his eyelashes. "What we're going to be talking about requires you to see so you can fully understand the threat you're under."

For the next few seconds, everyone within the room was completely still. No one moved. Ino remained rooted in her spot, all the while Shino kept his arm raised, pointing directly at Kisame's chest. And Kisame himself hung suspended by his wrists, waist, and ankles, unmoving.

Eventually, though, his impatience got the best of him. The man growled and cracked one eye open, sneering at them with inhumanly sharp teeth. And as soon as that one eye caught sight of them, both of the man's eyes widened in unabashed shock.

"You're children," after a second of not keeping the surprise in check, the man's white eyes narrowed and a frown overtook his thin lips. "Konoha must be desperate if you were sent in."

Ino offered a dangerous smirk up at him, "Who said anything about us being here with permission?"

His left eyebrow raised in curiosity, then he lifted his head up and rolled his shoulders. Even though he was very much chained up and had no way of utilizing his chakra because of the chakra draining seals that had been stuck onto his skin, he still was an imposing sight. This was a giant made up of muscle and danger- Ino was not foolish enough that they would be able to take him on if he escaped.

Luckily enough for them, though, Konoha's T&I Department was renown for one thing that played to their needs: no one had ever escaped from their clutches. And Kisame wasn't about to be the first, Ino knew.

"Kisame Hoshigaki, I tire of this chatter." Shino announced coldly, drawing Kisame's attention away from his Yamanaka teammate. "My name is Shino Aburame. Do you understand the importance of my name?"

Ino crossed her arms over her chest as Shino took reigns of the interrogation, all the while making her way towards the chair tucked into the far left corner of the room. From here, she had a clear view of both their prisoner and Shino, allowing her to properly watch them both for any reactions she needed to be aware of.

Even though she wasn't a fan of profiling her loved ones, she wasn't blind to the need to do it every now and again to make sure that everyone was okay. And profiling their captive was of utmost importance tonight. This would be the only night they would be able interrogate Kisame without having to rush. All of the Clan Heads were in a meeting, along with the heads of all the departments. And their older friends had been kind enough to take Genma out for a night of drinking.

Effectively, anyone that could have gotten into T&I to interrupt them was busy tonight. And they had planned to strike tonight for this very reason.

Kisame turned his chin up, offering an unimpressed look at Shino. "Announcing your name to a dangerous enemy known for murdering people that piss him off isn't the smartest thing."

"I did not announce my name to boast." Shino's right hand turned upwards, his fingers curling into the palm of his hands. His kikaichū began to trickle out of his sleeve, slowly crawling over his fingers in an almost lazy manner. "I am an Aburame. These kikaichū live within me- we live together in a mutually helpful relationship."

Kisame blinked at him, glanced quickly at Ino, and finally shook his head minutely. "I don't need a lesson on the Aburame of Konoha. You understand just how dangerous it is to talk about your skills to an enemy, right?" if Ino didn't know any better, she would think that Kisame actually sounded _worried_ over what they were doing. "Telling me about those bugs-"

Shino lifted his left arm up, silently asking for the man to shut up. Kisame frowned, seemingly prepared to call him out on how stupid he was currently being. But then Shino spoke up once more, effectively cutting him off.

"Tell me, Kisame Hoshigaki," one of the bugs climbed onto the tip of Shino's thumb, then flew up into the sky. Then another followed. And another. They began to circle each other. "Have you yet been subjected to any torture by any of Konoha's Torture and Interrogation Department in the hopes of getting any information on Itachi Uchiha from you?"

There was a flash of disbelief in Kisame's eyes, then he growled, "I'm starting to get pissed off with you guppies."

_Guppies._ That wasn't brat. It wasn't an insult. It was a term of affection for children in Kirigakure- that much she had read from her father's old report about the Hoshigaki Clan, which he had written up after he had visited Kirigakure a year ago looking for information on this missing nin. A term of affection- much like when Gen-Gen would call them chickadees or Kakashi's mongrels?

Kisame didn't consider them threats. And even though he was faking being irritated, he had most probably been isolated since he had been brought in- he was actually comforted by having some kind of human contact.

"Ino?"

The blonde shook her head softly, "There are no physical markings on his arms, neck, or face. The fact that he didn't even flinch at the very possibility means that he has not yet been subjected to any physical harm- and he doesn't actually think he'll be affected by it."

Now the man turned to look at her, his face trying to remain stoic even as his eyes shown with amused surprise. She offered him a pleased smile, then looked back at Shino.

His back was ramrod straight and his posture was tensed and prepared. Shino was here with one goal only- much like her. But he was the one prepared to get his hands uncharacteristically dirty to accomplish said goal.

"You're a Yamanaka," the Kirigakure native noted after a few seconds of silence, "What- you in my head without me even knowing? Fishing around for things you don't even understand?"

"Not at all." she shook her head and shrugged, "We don't resort to intrusion of the mind unless there are exigent circumstances that cause us to have no other option. Right now, I'm merely watching an interrogation conducted by my Aburame comrade."

"Seeing how you have not yet been interrogated by any Konohagakure operative recently," Shino cleared his throat, now allowing his kikaichū to begin to swarm the air around him.

Kisame's lips curled in disgust at the sight- he had shown no problems around the bugs when they were few. But seeing them all beginning to unite; hearing the beginning buzzes of a dangerous swarm; caused him revulsion. Possibly, he was even worried over what Shino was planning.

Good. That meant that he would be more susceptible to the fear Shino was attempting to implant.

"You have not yet actually been put through any pain within these walls, have you, Kisame Hoshigaki?" Shino didn't wait for an answer before he swirled his hand, causing the swarm of kikaichū to follow the motion of the hand, even as more bugs began to join it. "Tell me, have you ever felt a kikaichū crawling over your skin? The Aburame's partners are much stronger and sturdier than a regular insect- oftentimes, this translates to the sensation of their legs walking on you being slightly more perceptible- there is more weight on you."

Kisame was attempting to maintain his cool, even as his mind clearly worked overtime to reach the conclusion Shino was working towards. His shoulders stiffened and his eyes continued to track the movements of the swarm, even as the rest of his body attempted to remain relaxed.

When Shino had pitched this idea for a possible torture method to get Kisame talking, their friends had immediately decided it to be the most effective way to get a battled hardened monster like Kisame Hoshigaki to talk. They had all known that this wasn't a man that would respond to run of the mill bodily threats. And none of them, even as committed as they were to bringing Itachi Uchiha down, were prepared to actively mutilate a man, even one as vile as him.

Psychological torture; the threat of something horrible; was sometimes all someone needed to get a criminal talking. This had been one of the first things Ibiki and her father had ever taught her.

"Tell me, Kisame Hoshigaki..." Shino didn't move any body part other than his hand, which he flew into a flourish that sent the large cloud of his kikaichū to begin circling around the criminal.

Involuntarily, all of Kisame's body tensed.

Ino stopped her face from showing any emotion- she kept her lips in a tight line and her eyes focused wholly on Kisame's reactions.

"How do you think it would feel to have these heavy kikaichū infesting your insides?"

Kisame's eyes widened; the restrains on his wrist shook when he tried to move his hands. "You wouldn't-"

"Tell us all you know about Itachi Uchiha and my hand will not be forced." Shino cut in speedily, then cocked his head ever so slightly to the side. "And I mean _all_ you know. Leave any details out, Kisame Hoshigaki..." the swarm of insects tightened around Kisame's head, some of them even beginning to land on the sides of his mouth and nose.

Fear consumed all other emotions within Kisame's eyes- Shino's tactic had almost worked. Ino still kept an unreadable expression on her face- she was more than aware that they had not gotten the information they needed yet. And she had yet to truly play an active role in the interrogation- she needed to be careful over the technique she chose to use.

Still, Kisame was a man filled with bravado. He wasn't about to give information so quickly, it seemed. He narrowed his eyes suddenly, his gaze hardening as he turned a cold glare on the Aburame.

"I'll _never_ squeal. Loyalty is something I pride myself o-" the man choked when a kikaichū threw itself into his throat, apparently hitting him harshly. He began to cough, eyes going wide.

Fear was slowly becoming terror as Kisame's chest began to rise and fall in a much quicker pace than before.

"Your loyalty is to the Akatsuki's plans, isn't it?" Ino called out, standing up from her chair to make her way in front of Kisame once more.

The kikaichū buzzed around the man menacingly, Shino's arm still outstretched menacingly at him. But now Kisame was focused on her, eyes frantically searching for a way out.

Now was when she showed empathy.

If this man was a sociopath, he would not have even turned to look at her. He wasn't one- he was a cold and callous individual, yes, but he was still capable of feeling human emotions. He was afraid to die, but he wasn't willing to give up secrets that would harm his mission. This mission was paramount to him- which was the reason why he had allowed Itachi to take Gen-Gen on alone; he had known that Itachi would be fine. He had just not expected to be surprised by Konoha's forces.

She was sure that her father and Ibiki had not compiled an extensive profile on the psyche of all the members of the Akatsuki they knew about for her to manipulate one of the most dangerous S-ranked missing nin in the world. But the resources had been at her disposal- their parents were careless with worry over the Akatsuki threat and trust for their children. It was only the shinobi thing to do to take advantage of such weaknesses.

Ino could use this.

"We're not here to stop your mission, Kisame." Ino smiled reassuringly, softening her face into a façade of sympathy. "We just want to know about Itachi Uchiha- what _you_ know about him. His background, his loyalties, his reason for being in the Akatsuki. He's a traitor of Konoha and he hurt someone important to us- we want answers."

Kisame frowned at her, "How dumb do you think I am?"

Ino turned a look to Shino, who glanced back. Even through his sunglasses, she knew they were on the same page: _Very dumb_.

But she didn't tell him the truth.

Now was time to play ignorant innocence.

Clasping her hands behind her back, Ino shrugged her shoulders, "The adults refuse to tell us anything. They want us to think that this isn't something that we should be worried about. But we just want to understand exactly why it was that someone from our Village would hurt someone so important to us? It's like..." she sighed now, turning her back on the man. "It's almost as if he has no loyalties. I mean, if he was able to turn on Konoha, what's to stop him from turning on the Akatsuki?"

Kisame growled audibly, "I've been interrogated before, kid. I know the tri-" he choked once more, though, indicating the fact that Shino had not liked his answer.

Ino frowned to herself, but soon turned back to the man with her eyebrows drawn in with worry, "We just want your thoughts on Itachi."

"You just want a location!" Kisame lost his cool now, his body trying to push forward even through his restraints.

The swarm began to buzz aggressively, some kikaichū beginning to land threateningly on the man's blue skin. Then Shino scoffed, causing both Ino and Kisame to look at him.

"Did you know that my kikaichū feed off of chakra?" He asked conversationally, his tone taking on a lighthearted nature for the first time since he had first spoken within the room. "Even though you think you'll be able to kill them once they're within your body by forcefully elevating your body's temperature through the rapid use of chakra, this won't be a tactic you'll be able to utilize for more than a handful of minutes."

There was a knock on the door- Naruto was signaling them.

Kisame hissed now, "You're not going to get me to talk- I told you-"

"We don't even want a location on the guy!" Ino finally relented.

They wanted one. But they wouldn't be able to get one from Kisame. And their time within his cell was drawing to a close- they had been here for half an hour at this point.

Kotetsu would be returning to the Aburame home that night- he had said that he wanted to see Shino before he went to sleep, just to make sure that his little Aburame brother was safe. That meant that they had a deadline to meet _before_ Kotetsu finished with Genma. Even though the Clan Head meeting would end later, Genma's outing with their older friends would end in ten minutes.

Kisame blinked at her, completely confused. "Then why are you here?"

Ino sighed heavily, forcing tears to come to her eyes. "Because I want _someone_ to tell me about the _monster_ that betrayed my village." she was playing up the betrayal angle, hoping it would strike a chord within this guy. It was a long shot, but it was still a shot. "I want someone to talk to me about the history of the jerk that put one of the kindest men in the world in the hospital. And I don't want to be told that I shouldn't _worry about it because I'm some dumb kid._ "

There was a flash of emotion within Kisame's eyes at the end of her plea- Ino caught it and was left confused by it. Then he closed his eyes, shaking his head at them.

"You're just a bunch of dumb kids messing with problems you don't understand." He offered a smirk, absolutely delighted even as he ignored the increasing noises from Shino's swarms. "Stand down, bug boy. I'll tell you what you want- if only because you actually had me going with the threat of torture. Not many have managed to actually _react_ to threats."

Ino didn't like how nonchalantly he was treating them. She also didn't like the fact that they would be leaving without the one piece of information they really _needed_.

… but... well, she guessed that getting Itachi's partner's perspective on who he was as a person might just help them hunt him down later on.

Besides, Kiba, Sasuke, and Tenten should have snatched Kisame's cloak from the Evidence Vault by now- if there was even the smallest molecule on the piece of clothing, she knew he and Akamaru would be able to track him down.

Shino looked at her, looking to see if she was satisfied with what Kisame offered. She wasn't, but she knew that he wasn't going to willingly give them anything else. And she couldn't invade his mind just yet- her father would undoubtedly have to resort to this tactic and she didn't want him to know that she had used such a dangerous jutsu in her search for answers.

After she gave a nod to her friend, Ino turned to Kisame and offered a small thank you. Then she walked towards the chair to the back, brought it to stand in front of him, and finally sat down to listen to what he had to say.

Before he said anything about their Uchiha target, Kisame nodded at Shino with respect. "That is a novel form of torture. Keep it as a backup, though. If you come out swinging with such a heavy hitter, any other tactics are more likely to fail."

They were getting advice on torturing from a criminal.

Ino couldn't help feel that Kisame felt some sort of compassion for them- but she was at a loss as to why.

Still, Kisame held his end of the bargain. He told them what he knew about Itachi- about how he had gone through with the Uchiha massacre because he had felt like it, how he was a cold hearted ninja that accomplished the mission no matter what, and about how he never talked about his family or Konoha unless Kisame somehow managed to get under his skin.

Admittedly, it helped expand Ino's profile on Itachi Uchiha- this was a person that had changed exponentially in the years since he had betrayed the Village. But she still felt unsatisfied with the fact that they would not get a last known location from Kisame himself.

"Thank you." she smiled at the man once he was finished, "That's a lot more than any of our parents has told us."

Kisame waved his left hand noncommittally, all the while shrugging.

Ino stood up and nodded at Shino, silently telling him that they could leave the cell now. So they both began to walk away... until she was hit by an odd idea.

She wasn't sure if she would be able to get Kisame's trust- but there was no loss in trying.

"Do you think you could keep our visit a secret?"

Kisame would need some kind of confidant within Konoha. He wasn't the completely isolated individual he wanted people to think. He had been relieved to receive a visitor after having been left alone since being incarcerated.

Maybe... Maybe if she played up their innocence, made him think they were completely out of their depth... maybe then he would let slip important information he had not given right now.

If this worked out, it would take a lot longer than just one visit.

Well, she was willing to go to hell and back for Gen-Gen. Forming some form pleasant relationship with a criminal wasn't morally correct, but it was something she was willing to do to get revenge on Itachi Uchiha.

Kisame scoffed at her, shaking his head softly. "What're you willing to offer me to keep my mouth shut?"

Ino clasped her hands together in front of her, offering him a kind smile, "Weekly visits. _With_ your favorite food."

"What makes you think I would even enjoy your visits?" He challenged, only for Ino to continue smiling brightly at him.

"Did you forget the part where I had profiled you within a second of having seen you?"

"I bet your profile is wrong."

With a shrug, Ino turned around. Shino opened the door, stepping through before he kept it open for her to cross through. She walked out, ignoring the curious expression on Naruto's face.

"Did you get what we-" Naruto began, only for Ino to ask him to shut up with a quick cutting motion with her hand.

She took one step outside of the door's range, then began to close the door behind her.

When there were only a few inches left before the door was shut completely and automatically locked once again, she heard Kisame call out, "Shrimp and crab! Bring me anything shark related and I'll gut you!"

Sticking her head through the open threshold, she offered him her most blinding smile, "Will do!"

Once finished with that, she closed the door behind her. Then she backed up onto it, allowing herself to rest against the cold metal for a moment; a heavy sigh left her lips as her head hung.

"We didn't get anything particularly useful." She admitted to Naruto, who gasped.

"And how do we know that what we _did_ get is true?" Shino questioned clinically, leaving her feeling as if there was a void within her chest.

Nothing had gone as they had planned in there- but they couldn't let Kisame think that. He was a man that knew more than he let on- just like he was a man that _felt_ a lot more than he wanted people to know. Even though it was risky, if they wanted to make full use of him, they would have to play him for more than just one interrogation.

"Hopefully, his extreme sense of loyalty transfers over to the deals he makes." She offered, then shook her head, "We're going to have to do this again next week."

"What? Why?" Naruto voiced his extreme shock, all the while Shino turned to her with an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Because I just struck a deal with him and if there's one thing he values, it's honor." She hissed back at Naruto, then looked at Shino. "We weren't going to get anything out of him by manhandling him. He's just too proud of a man. I think that the one way we'll be able to get answers from him is to make him underestimate us... And... Well, _empathize_ with us."

Stunned silence fell over both boys at that, then Naruto pointed out, "I don't think a monster like that is capable of feeling anything, Ino. Much less feeling anything for anyone else."

_Guppies_.

Kisame had humored them, even though he had tried to seem distant; disinterested.

He had even offered Shino advice.

"Trust me, will you?" She pushed off of the door and began to make her way towards the opening of the tunnels that were supposed to be secret access ways to all of Konoha's underground structures. "I'm the Yamanaka here."

Neither of her lifelong friends said anything, letting her know that they trusted her judgement. And Ino breathed out, trying to calm her raging thoughts. Even though they had not gotten the information they had _wanted_ , she was going to make good use of what they _had_ gotten.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 1: A New Beginning:_ His life, Genma had come to learn, was one filled with constant changes. No matter how hard he worked to keep things the same, something always happened to ruin his stability. Sometimes, he despaired over this fact. At other times, he was completely grateful because of this very reality.

..~..~..

Genma had always known that he had grown to matter to quite a few important people, but he had never thought that he would matter _this_ much. He had never thought that they would worry so much over him that they would _force_ him into a Clan Head's meeting for him to listen to them debate about his new living arrangements.

Kotetsu, Kakashi, Raidou, and Iwashi had not been invited, told to return to their rooms as Genma had been whisked away by Inoichi. Which was a bad thing, seeing how he had promised to go out with them tonight. Their outing having been cut short only meant that he would have to go out _on yet another night._

"He will be staying with my clan, Hiashi. You have more than enough children to take care of already."

"Inoichi, you are acting impulsively- you only want to keep Shiranui in your home so he can help you watch after Ino."

"That's what we _all_ want to do, Hiashi. News flash, boys, Shiranui is the best and only babysitter our kids have had in their whole lives! You can't base your arguments on needing him most- we _all_ need him."

Ibiki sat to his side, mostly to make sure that he didn't try to skip out of the Clan Head's meeting, but also because he wanted to make sure that Genma was safe. Even though Ibiki was not the kind of man that normally spoke about his emotions, he made sure to let the people that were important to him know when he was worried about them... with extremely straightforward and somewhat callous words.

Eh... well... at least he hadn't flat out called him an idiot- which was more than many of his other so called-friends had done.

Softly, so as not to be heard by the Clan Heads before them, Ibiki whispered, "It must be a cold day in hell."

Genma didn't bother to look at him in surprise. Even though this was not the kind of man that seemed like he would normally crack jokes, he still made them. And Genma was one of the lucky few people to know this fact about him.

Still, the comment had been completely correct. Any day where Tsume Inuzuka was the voice of reason within an argument was a day that was never supposed to occur. Tsume Inuzuka _wasn't_ the voice of reason. _Ever_. And if she seemed to be the voice of reason at any given time, it just meant that the rest of the people arguing with her had merely descended into a deeper madness than her.

"I still believe that Shiranui should be allowed to say what he wants, rather than have us tell him what he'll do." Shikaku tried to be heard over the arguing Tsume, Inoichi, and, surprisingly, Hiashi... only to be completely ignored.

Chouza patted the Nara's shoulder reassuringly, all the while Shikaku shook his head and scoffed at the three adults that were currently acting much more like children than their own sons and daughters.

"Maybe," Kizashi cleared his throat, speaking up for the first time since this argument had begun. All of the shinobi within the room turned to him without bothering to disguise their surprise at seeing him speak out. When he noticed these looks, he took a step back, suddenly becoming pale.

Luckily for him, his wife stepped forward as she patted his arm comfortingly, then she turned to look at all of the shinobi with hardened eyes. "Perhaps it would be a good idea for Shiranui-san to stay outside of a clan compound. Our house is large enough to house him and his children, and I am on call for whatever he may need. Sakura is also wiling to chip in and help."

A stunned silence fell over the room... until Tsume muttered, "Sounds like a good Plan B in case we can't get on the same page. If the Clan Heads can't agree where he should stay, then he shouldn't stay with any Clan whatsoever."

This whole argument was ludicrous. It was both insulting and humiliating how these people were fighting over him as if he were some mere object, rather than an actual person with very real wants and needs. This argument spoke volumes about how little these people trusted his decision making skills- and he was very much hurt by the insinuation of how little they thought about him.

(But a little voice in the back of his head told him that he was pretty damn relieved to hear so many people arguing about his wellbeing. To some degree, this _proved_ that he _mattered_. And before those kids had come into his life, he hadn't felt as if he deserved to matter. It was nice to be reminded of how many people actually cared for him.)

(Sometimes, he still believed he didn't matter much at all. The sheer number of people that cared about him was enough evidence to the contrary. But... well... he was a stubborn man.)

"He should not be moved. He has made a home within my clan's compound. Not only that, but so have Zabuza and Haku. Uprooting those two might prove to be dangerous further down the road." Hiashi crossed his arms with a deep frown pulling at the corner of his lips.

And if Hiashi was any other man, Genma would have said that he was acting a bit like a petulant child that did not want to separate from his favorite toy. But seeing how this was _the_ Hiashi Hyuuga, Genma guessed that such an observation would not be received kindly, no matter how long they had known each other.

"And he _should_ be moved because your clan cannot offer what he and his family need at the moment." Inoichi countered, blue eyes dancing with defiance as he turned a glare on Hiashi. "Unlike myself, you have three children under your care. Adding all of Genma's charges is an unfair load upon your shoulders. Hiashi, be honest with yourself, your clan wants these outsiders out of their homes- your Elders have been planning a revolt for months now!"

Hiashi squared his shoulders and stared defiantly back into Inoichi's own eyes, "It seems that you are much too busy recovering information on the clans you wish to manipulate to be able to take care of Genma's troublesome needs."

Both men began to flat out glare at one another, leaving Genma absolutely flabbergasted at how Hiashi was acting. Inoichi was passionate and confident- his words weren't surprising. But Hiashi's own insistence on keeping Genma with the Hyuuga was absolutely staggering- The Hyuuga really weren't the kind to usually put such faith in people that weren't from their own clan.

In a way, it was absolutely touching. In another, it was just grating that he was being fought over without even having a say in the conversation.

Luckily for the Hokage's office where this conversation was taking place, before a fight could erupt between a taijutsu master and a mind jutsu expert, Shibi Aburame stepped in between both men.

"I believe that temporarily allocating Genma Shiranui within the Haruno home would be for the best. As Mebuki-san has previously stated, their home is large enough to house all of Genma's strays,"

"I resent that term." Genma mumbled under his breath, only to hear Ibiki scoff in amusement at his denial.

Shibi continued speaking without seemingly having heard Genma's words. "Not only is Mebuki-san able to be called upon on most days, but young Sakura is also learning medical ninjutsu. She learns quickly and if ever there is a situation with Genma's health, she can follow all proper instructions until proper medical ninja have been contacted."

Tsume scratched at her cheek as her old teammate finished speaking, then shrugged with her eyes closed. "Aburame, if I can finally leave this damn place, I'll even be willing to put money into an 'Idiot Housing Fund' to buy Shiranui a home."

Genma frowned at that, then called out, "Quite frankly, I would much rather just look for a house for myself. I've got enough money-"

Shikaku turned to him with a tired frown, "That would have worked weeks ago, Shiranui. You know, _before_ you went and got yourself injured. _Again_."

For a brief moment, Genma felt childish enough to want to stick his tongue out at the man. But Ibiki distracted him before he could make a fool of himself.

"Don't worry. They're already beginning to plan for that as well. As Shibi said, this would just be temporary housing until you're cleared by Lady Tsunade."

"Wait, they're actually planning-" Genma cut himself off, at a loss for words. Then he growled, "They don't control my life, you know!"

"Calm down, Genma." Chouza called out, offering a kind smile. "We only worry because we care."

Genma didn't say it, but he felt that this whole 'care' these parents had for him was now bordering on the dangerous, almost psychotic possessive territory. They were now dictating where he was supposed to _live._ That was... kind of very insane.

* * *

When Kotetsu returned to the Aburame compound, it was to find that neither Shibi nor Shino were within their home. He knew where Shibi was, seeing how the Clan Head's had kidnapped Genma to discuss something or another. This had left Kotetsu appearing in the Aburame home earlier than expected- and it was because of this that he had found out that Shino had snuck out.

Immediately, he began to panic. _Shino_ didn't sneak out. Some of the other lunatic genin _did_. But Shino knew better than to leave without telling _someone_ where he was going. After the traumatizing event that had been Torune's entrance into some classified sect... Shino _knew_ that Kotetsu was prone to being terrified over something happening to his little brother.

He ran out of the home, prepared to run all the way to the Inuzuka's home so he could force Kiba to help him track Shino down. He wouldn't ask for Hana or Tsume's help- he knew better than to ask either of those two for help when it came to hunting down a boy that may have been doing something that could get him in trouble. And he didn't trust any other Inuzuka enough to ask for their help.

If he didn't find Kiba in his house, then he wouldn't fret over finding him specifically. He knew that Hatake was at his house- he had dropped him off there some twenty minutes ago.

Right as he was about to cross through the threshold of the Aburame compound, he caught sight of his little Aburame brother. And as soon as he saw Shino, his brain short-circuited and he ran up to the boy and crushed him in a hug.

He hadn't even registered that Ino and Naruto were following behind Shino- he had been much too busy breathing a sigh of relief at knowing that his little Aburame brother was with him and nothing could hurt him.

Torune may be out of his reach, but Shino wasn't. And he would be damned before he let _anyone_ harm him.

"Shino! What're you doing out in the middle of the night?" he questioned in a hurry, setting Shino down to grab him by the shoulders. For a moment, he registered the look of shock that was blatantly on the Aburame's face. But then he was asking another question and Shino wasn't allowed any time to answer the first one. "Why did you sneak out of the house? Were you getting in trouble? Am I going to have to tell your father? Please don't tell me I have to get Shibi involved, he gets all stern and serious and I think he's mad at me for not stopping you even though I can't follow you around at all times, even though I really want to!"

After he had stopped, he noticed that his heart was beating erratically and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. Then his eyes came across the sight of his hands shaking minutely on their perch on Shino's shoulders- and he finally noticed that he had almost fallen to a panic attack.

Without waiting for any sort of answer, Kotetsu pulled Shino into another hug, this time clinging onto the boy as if he were his only lifeline.

"Please don't sneak out without telling me. I promise I won't tell anyone what you're doing or where you are... Just..." he choked up on tears at this, then cleared his throat in an attempt to make his words understandable. "Just don't let me find your bedroom empty ever again. _Please_."

It took a few seconds, but eventually Shino hugged him back, squeezing him tightly momentarily before nodding into his chest.

No other words were said. Kotetsu knew that Ino and Naruto would be confused by his frenzied state, but he didn't care about those two at the moment.

His Little Aburame Brother was safe and sound and nothing would get to him. As long as Kotetsu was around, he would make _damn sure_ that no one even came _close enough_ to him to hurt him. _No one_ was going to take Shino away from him.

* * *

It had been months since they had been brought back to life by the snake traitor. And he was still no step closer to figuring out exactly how Tenten had managed to destroy a seal and create one simultaneously. The girl herself was in the dark as to what she had done- and he was, regrettably, at a complete loss as to how he could even begin to solve this mystery.

Deep dark within him, Tobirama knew that he did not want to figure out this conundrum. He was living in a time that was not his own, he knew. He understood very well that both he and Hashirama should be dead in the ground right now. The lives they were currently living were not supposed to be; the help they were offering Konohagakure was not supposed to be given.

He was not ignorant- they were not supposed to be here. And their mere presence could be damning the world in unforeseeable ways.

But... Knowing this didn't stop him from wishing to continue living.

He justified staying here to himself by the reminder that the only person that might be able to break the seal that tethered him and Hashirama to the land of the living had no way of destroying it. Because Tenten had no idea how she had manipulated the seal, she did not even begin to comprehend how to release them from her creation. And while he should want to figure this out as quickly as possible to set everything right... he still wanted to live out of a selfish need to stay far away from the cold darkness that was a grave.

Never would he ever tell anyone this, though. And instead, he kept up a cowardly façade- insisted to Hashirama that when he disappeared into his lab, it was to figure out the chaotic seal Tenten had created. As long as people believed he hid within this area to work on returning himself and his brother to the land of the dead and had no idea about what he was truly working on, then he was fine.

"Brother, you have emerged!"

Tobirama rolled his eyes at his brother's theatrics, but did not bother with addressing such a dramatic exclamation. Instead he placed his hand against the door he had just emerged from, focusing his chakra to set up all of the traps he had set within his work area for any that was not himself. And once that was finished, he turned back to Hashirama, only to find that the man had scuttled off into the kitchen.

The temporary home they had been given was small, yet comfortable. It was within the shinobi section of the Village- within an apartment complex that had just recently been completed. All of the shinobi here had been displaced because of Orochimaru's attack on Konoha and were the kind that were constantly going out on missions- Hashirama had already promised to house-sit for a few tenants because he was just that kind.

They had been given the lowest apartment, per Tobirama's request. And he had immediately built a small area to serve as his lab, underneath their unit. Even though he had not cleared this construction with Hiruzen, he was sure that his old student would not mind with what he was doing. Now that they had a home away from Shiranui, the Mother Hen, and had already helped with a lot of the reconstruction, Tobirama found himself with enough time to get to work on the seal; and now he had a private area to work in. He could now finally work on righting their living status.

He was _not_ working on that. What he was working on instead... it would undoubtedly cause disgust among his compatriots. Because of this, he would not let anyone know the reality of this situation.

"Tell me, Tobi, would you prefer the salmon or the shrimp for lunch?" Hashirama called from the kitchen area, leaving Tobirama to perk up at the options. And he immediately became suspicious.

Hashirama never offered him seafood unless he wanted something. Or had destroyed something precious to him. Or _wanted to destroy something precious to him_.

"What do you want to destroy?" as he bristled, Tobirama made his way into the kitchen of their apartment. And when he got there, it was to find Hashirama wearing a light pink apron tied around the back of his neck and waist, along with a guilty smile on his lips.

"Not destroy, my dearly overdramatic younger brother," Hashirama cleared his throat, then made his way to the refrigerator. "I just ended up losing a bet to young Tenten and now her team is coming over for dinner for seafood. I would rather you get what you want now, rather than have them eat it later on. So, please, choose."

Their refrigeration unit was stocked with only the finest of foods, courtesy of the Akimichi clan. All the food within was a house warming present, hence the quality of the items. Within a few weeks, they would be whittled down to microwavable food and only a few fresh items- both he and Hashirama could be rather irresponsible when it came to their food.

If this had been anyone other than Hashirama, Tobirama would have considered this a sweet gesture. But Tobirama, for the life of him, could not shake the suspicion his brother had aroused within him.

Still... Maybe his brother _was_ just trying to be nice and considerate... he highly doubted that- he had known his brother for his whole life, and he always wanted _something_ when he was nice. But... he guessed he could bite.

"Shrimp. Give Shiranui's children the salmon." Tobirama grunted, turning towards the corridor on the kitchen's right, which led him to his room. "I am sure they need more vitamins within their diet."

Hashirama chuckled at him, promised to make some delicious shrimp, and asked for Tobirama to return from his room in around an hour and a half so they could eat together. Tobirama nodded mutely even though he did not turn around to make sure his brother had seen the movement- he knew Hashirama had.

* * *

Moving into the Haruno home was a bit of an adventure.

"Zabuza! Stop lazing about and help Haku bring in the things."

Mebuki, even from her position in the kitchen, seemed to have eyes and ears within her home. Even though she was a homemaker, her ability to always know what was happening in her domain was almost Sannin-like.

Seeing how even he had no idea where the swordsman had hidden, it was legitimately awe-inspiring to find out that Mebuki had managed to find him.

Genma heard Zabuza's long-suffered groan, then found the Kirigakure native making his way towards the cart that had been used to transport their belongings. The horses at the front of the cart knickered as the dangerous ninja approached them, apparently wary of such a powerful man.

"Smart horses," Genma murmured to himself, then sighed heavily as he continued sitting on one of the rather comfortable chairs on the Haruno's front porch.

The Haruno home was located in the civilian outskirts of the Village, where they had a somewhat sizeable patch of land all to themselves. This meant that they had a small path from the street that ran to the front steps. And their territory was large enough to need fences to separate from their neighbors. It wasn't a large estate, but it was much more territory than Genma had lived within in a long time.

"You know, I can help move some things!" He shouted into the open front door.

Sasuke, as if summoned by a demonic spell, appeared at the door in a heartbeat. A heavy frown marred his face as sweat glistened his skin. If Genma had not known the boy as well as he did, he would think the foul mood came from the fact that he was stuck doing manual labor while his guardian was lazing about. But Genma knew Sasuke very well. And he was angry at the very suggestion of Genma helping.

"An inch to the left and my brother would have severed your spine, leaving you a paraplegic." Sasuke grunted as he stepped out of the threshold, keeping his gaze fixed on the cart filled with their belongings rather than looking at him. "You are going to follow Tsunade's suggestions of barely moving for the next month. After that month is over, you will begin on small movements."

Genma frowned at the severity of the Uchiha's voice, but wisely decided to stay quiet. Sasuke's brother had been a touchy subject ever since he had betrayed the village. Now that he had attacked Genma so viciously... there was no doubt in the man's mind that Sasuke's hate for his only living family member had only managed to grow.

Zabuza looked down at Sasuke when the boy walked up to the cart. Genma could tell that the ex-missing-nin was analyzing the boy's words and actions; as if trying to gauge what exactly was Sasuke's mental state. Sasuke glared back almost defiantly.

With another soft sigh, Genma turned to look at the threshold of the Haruno home as Naruto, Sakura, and Haku crossed through it.

"Mom says that after we finish bringing up the furniture, we can take a break." Sakura informed everyone outside, "She's making some _gyokoru_ tea. Everyone's supposed to be with us- apparently it's tradition to welcome guests like this."

Immediately, Genma felt out of place. Even though he had known the Haruno family for years now, he had never taken part in anything more serious than a few picnics where all of the other children had accompanied along. As a ninja from an unimpressive civilian lineage, he had never taken part in anything more important than promotion ceremonies or office parties. The only other 'fancy' outings he had ever attended had been in his younger days because of Minato... and those few, awkward Christmas parties within the Hyuga's home...

(Memories of both such outings were rather awkward and cringe inducing for the senbon expert, so he would much rather just forget either had ever even occurred.)

When he looked at the only other adult outside, Genma found Zabuza's face scrunched up in uncharacteristic fear- apparently, he was not the only one that was worried over such a thing.

"But I don't like tea, Sakura." Naruto complained with a whine, "Can I just throw it out when no one's looking?"

Genma _could_ have scolded the boy for such a rude idea. But Haku beat him to it with much more tact than he ever could have mustered.

" _Gyokoru_ is one of the finest teas you could ever drink, Naruto." The long haired boy turned to him with disappointment shining clear within his eyes, "It is not a cheap commodity to buy. And I am sure that Kizashi-san did not leave early this morning to find such a fine import in the nearest marketplace for you to waste it on the wooden floorboards of his home."

Naruto's face, much like Zabuza's, scrunched up at the accusation. Then he closed his eyes, crossed his arms, and frowned deeply. "Well... When you put it like that Haku... You make me sound like a complete _jerk_!"

Haku closed his own eyes then, lips molding into a kind smile, "It is a good thing you're not a jerk then, Naruto."

Naruto cracked one eye open... and blushed scarlet. He quickly turned around as he coughed out some unintelligible excuse or another, all the while Sakura shook her head from her spot in between both boys.

Genma merely smiled at the interaction, then turned to look over at Zabuza once more. The man's face had now softened with fondness, eyes glued onto the clearly content Haku. But when he noticed Genma looking at him- when he noticed that Genma had noticed his moment of vulnerability-, his eyes narrowed and he growled out orders for the useless genin to get a move on.

Naruto shouted at 'Shark-Jerk' to not call them useless, seeing how he had been missing for the past hour and had not helped them bring down any of the mattresses or bed frames. And Zabuza retaliated by, maturely... disappearing and refusing to help bring down any of the other heavy furniture.

Sakura scolded Naruto for yelling at Zabuza. Haku promised to try and find Zabuza quickly so they could finish and get their snacks. Naruto tried to defend himself against Sakura's words. And Sasuke seemed to contemplate possible strategies for lifting and carrying the leftover furniture without their strongest companion.

Yup. Any day with these kids, no matter how mundane, was still an adventure.

* * *

Hidan didn't feel comfortable.

Hinata rubbed soothing circles into the hand she held within her own- _so small_.

What these kids were asking of him would put them _all_ in jeopardy. But it could cause _him_ to lose his head.

"The Hokage asked me to keep quiet about this. No one but a select few people are supposed to know about this." His eyes were narrowed, seeing how he was desperately trying to seem more in control of himself than he actually was.

It had been _so long_ since he had last been himself that he was not a hundred percent sure who he was anymore. He was not sure how he was supposed to act anymore. He knew he didn't want to be mean, but that didn't mean that he knew exactly how to act like a _normal person anymore._ And even though he knew that he was incredibly skilled ninja... he had never been _himself_ when he had been interrogated before.

He wanted to seem angry- he didn't want the children to know that he was scared _shitless_.

"Hidan," Ino cleared her throat, crossing her arms over her chest from her seat on the other side of the table.

He should have known better than to accept Hinata's invitation to hang out with her friends. He was a fool to have believed that he stood a chance at actually making a good relationship with these children. He should have known that they must have wanted _something_ out of him to actually invite him somewhere.

He could have been helping Genma and the others with moving into the Haruno home right now.

_He should have known better._

"You _are_ aware of what your old Akatsuki companion did to Gen-Gen, correct?" The blonde questioned once again, as if repeating the question would cause Hidan to internalize it further.

The fact that _he did_ made him feel useless. Without the curse, he was little more than a coward, wasn't he?

"P-please, Hidan." Hinata whispered from beside him, causing his resolve to crumble further. "W-we just want to know what you know a-about Kisame Hoshigaki."

The thumb that had been rubbing soothing circles stopped for a moment, causing Hidan to make the grand mistake of looking down at the Hyuga... only to find Hinata staring back at him with the most powerful kicked puppy eyes he had ever witnessed in his life.

Right then and there, he almost told the girls what he knew about Kisame. But he was able to bite his tongue for long enough to formulate another string of words.

"Don't you get it?" Hidan questioned in desperation, "I'm not supposed to tell _anyone_! Do you have any what could happen to me if the Hokage finds out about what I've said?"

He _didn't_ know. But he didn't want to find out either.

He had died many times before. He knew what true pain was. He had caused himself much of that pain.

He didn't want to go through that ever again.

Ino leaned forward, a confident smirk pulling at the corner of her lips. The fire in her eyes was undeniable- this was the face of someone that was completely sure of what she was talking about.

"You say that as if you believe that we're not capable of keeping something from our higher ups. But you see, we're smart enough to know how to get around obstacles in our way. And one of our specialties, since we were kids, has been doing things without the Hokage finding out." There was a predatory gleam in the girl's eyes... Hidan knew he was screwed then and there- he could feel all his resolve finally slip from him. "Now tell us what you know about Kisame- we'll start small. If we need anything else from you, we'll make sure you know."

Never, in all his time with his curse, had he ever thought he would miss it when he didn't have it. Right now, though, he knew that having that curse seal on him would keep his lips shut; he would have a crass shield to protect himself from his cowardly ways.

It had been so long that he had been himself that he had actually managed to forget how innately terrified he was.

"You don't want to disappoint Hinata, do you?"

_Low blow_.

Hidan sneered, closed his eyes, and clutched at Hinata's hand tighter.

If he didn't talk, Hinata would leave. Hanabi would never meet with him again. He would be ostracized from the children- they would make his life a living hell until Genma had no other choice than to abandon him too.

Now that he finally had the smallest threads of a family again, he didn't want to lose it.

"O-okay." He whispered, allowing his head to hang. "I'll talk."

* * *

When Hidan left, it was with tears brimming his eyes and fear clearly eating at his soul. Hanabi walked with him, having waited for him outside of Ino's garden to walk him to Sakura's house.

Hinata felt like a monster.

Ino tried to reassure her that what they had just done was correct; that the information they now knew about Kisame Hoshigaki was going to make getting information out of _him_ much easier. The Yamanaka wanted to make Hinata believe that threatening Hidan with destroying his life had been the only course of action they could have taken to get an answer out of him. But Hinata knew Ino was wrong.

Hidan would have told them if they had just asked nicely. She was _sure_ of it.

Threatening with having Hinata and Hanabi abandon him had been too far. But going ahead and making him believe that the rest of their friends would do everything in their power to make him look a bad person so that Genma would abandon him? That threat was the kind of threat a _monster_ would make. Ino had known exactly what to say to terrify and torture Hidan.

Hinata wanted _no part in this_. Not if mentally torturing people was what was supposedly required to get answers.

"I'm gonna go back to Kisame next week. Knowing more about him will definitely give me a bigger picture into his psyche- I should be able to manipulate him a lot easier now." Ino murmured mostly to herself, apparently completely oblivious to how truly angry Hinata was.

Her face was so warm with anger at the moment that Hinata doubted her skin wasn't tinged red. Ino was so consumed with her single-minded determination that she wasn't even aware of her friend's _feelings_.

Was this what her friends were truly willing to go through with to get revenge on Itachi Uchiha? Was their anger so much that they were willing to burn bridges and torment people?

"Hey, you know how to cook shrimp and crab? I'm planning on gaining Hoshigaki's trust to get information out of him."

Hinata couldn't deal with this.

Without saying anything to the Yamanaka, the short haired girl ran out of the greenhouse as fast as her legs would carry her. She needed to be with Hidan right now.

_No one_ should ever be threatened with losing what few friends they had. Hinata didn't care what Ino's reasoning was, she could have conducted Hidan's interrogation another way! Now Hidan was terrified of losing them and he didn't deserve that! He had been nothing but kind ever since he had lost his seal completely.

Ino had crossed a line.

Hinata didn't care if the threats had been baseless. Ino should never have even made them.

* * *

Hidan returned to their new home after everything had already been put in its place and most of their boxes had been unpacked.

Genma had been seated in the living room, reading from the health guidelines Tsunade had sent over for him to follow so he would recover as fast as possible. Nighttime had began to fall, but there was still the barest threads of sun shining through the windows.

Hinata and Hanabi were holding onto the male's hands as if lifelines- even though they tried to seem as if they were completely normal, Genma had known them for years. And if there was one truth to the Hyuga children, it was that they were their worry on their sleeves.

Hidan's own eyes were rimmed in red, even though his jaw was set so tightly that it seemed he was currently grinding his teeth.

It didn't take a genius to know that something had happened between the three. Something _bad_.

"Hinata, Hanabi," he cleared his throat, closing the pamphlet as the three stood by the opened door.

(The fact that all three seemed to jump like prey caught by a predator was not one he missed. It was one he chose to ignore for the moment.)

"It's getting rather late. If you wish, I could send one of the boys to your house so your father knows you'll be staying the night here."

Hiashi would not be happy to hear this news, he knew. But he also knew when one of his children was terrified. The fact that three of them seemed to be on the verge of tears was something he was not going to dismiss. And he knew that the girls staying the night would undoubtedly help them get over whatever it was that had managed to terrify them.

"There's no need for-" Hidan began to say, only to cut off abruptly when Hanabi yanked at his arm.

"Thank you, Farmer man."

Genma smiled at the young girl, then motioned for them to come closer with his head. "You know what I haven't done in a long time? I haven't heard about your lives. Why don't you come here and catch me up on what's been happening. Hinata, you can even sneak cookies from Mebuki's secret stash as part of your ninja training."

The way their faces all smoothed over at the suggestion made Genma smile softly- his kids were all unique and complex individuals. But he knew how to handle them by now.

Right now, these three needed a distraction. He could ask about what had them so terrified in the morning.

~..~..~

Have y'all ever forgotten about established lore within your stories? Or have mixed up ideas you had in the past with ideas you actually went through? Because I've forgotten _a lot_ of the smaller details I put into _Genma Shiranui: Mother Hen Extraordinaire_ and legit had to read it through to figure out what I had officially written and what I had not.

Thank you so much for reading and the support! I hope y'all keep enjoying this story because I truly am enjoying writing it! Please review and tell me what you thought about this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 2:_ The longer they worked on Kisame, the closer they came to getting him to open up to them. But the time they spent doing this was time they weren't tracking Itachi Uchiha down. Life went on for them all, forcing all of the genin to focus on more than just their revenge.

..~..~..

"It sounds like Zabuza doesn't like this Kisame guy."

Shikamaru frowned upon hearing Sasuke's comment. Then he murmured, "Zabuza doesn't like a lot of people. We're more likely to find a food Chouji won't eat than a person Momochi _will_ like at this rate."

The other boy breathed out heavily at this, then shook his head. "Just one mention of Kisame, and the guy clammed up. Naruto's working on Haku, but I highly doubt _he'll_ know anything if Momochi's so tight lipped about him."

They were attempting to gather more personal information on Kisame Hoshigaki before Ino snuck back into T&I to- Shikamaru shuddered at the thought- _visit_ him.

Ino's plan to garner Kisame's trust was dangerous. In Shikamaru's eyes, it was even stupid, seeing how it was relying on the perceived empathy of a merciless killer. But... he had to concede, that if what Ino had told them about Hoshigaki was true, then it was the plan that was the most likely to work.

A good relationship wasn't something people thought was necessary for the sanity of a person. But for someone to remain mentally healthy- to an acceptable degree- they needed good relations. Healthy interactions with others was a cornerstone for someone's mental wellbeing. A person that lived under constant hostility was not a person that would be able to mentally thrive- even when they were blind to this fact.

The difficult part about this plan was deciding on exactly which path they would need to embark on to begin to form a good relationship with Kisame Hoshigaki. His files told them how violent and ruthless he was. But they didn't offer any information that would aid them in creating something akin to a _friendship_ with him.

They had a good reason to believe that Zabuza may have known Kisame many years ago. And so they had sent Sasuke to ask him about it; all the while Naruto went to ask Haku anything he may have known. As was expected of the swordsman, Zabuza clamped up in silence as soon as he heard the name Kisame Hoshigaki. Naruto was still away, so they had yet to receive any news about Haku's own reactions.

"Even if Naruto brings anything back, that won't change the fact that we'll need to figure almost everything out ourselves." Shikamaru admitted after a few seconds spent in silence. "Whatever Haku might know will be miniscule compared to what Zabuza could have given us. And whatever _he_ knows probably wouldn't have been enough to break through Hoshigaki's walls. If there's one thing I'm certain about this guy, it's that he's proud."

Sasuke frowned upon hearing this, but soon nodded. "It's a good thing we're all pretty smart, then."

Shikamaru couldn't help but feel slightly warmed by what Sasuke had just said. This guy... he'd been put through hell. And he still managed to find time to actually _notice_ all of his friends. He was consumed by darkness because of what he had lived through, but he still allowed his friends' light to shine into him. Even though he wasn't the easiest person to get along with, Sasuke was still a good person.

Itachi Uchiha... he had committed a grave mistake by leaving Sasuke alive all those years ago. But he had committed a _fatal_ one by attacking _their_ Genma.

A knock on Shikamaru's door had them both rushing to hide any and all evidence of their plans to aid Ino in acquiring Kisame Hoshigaki's trust. They were able to stash all of their papers beneath his bed just in time for his mother to peek her head through the barely opened door.

"Shika, your father is looking for you." Yoshino Nara's face was mostly neutral- but her eyes were glinting in a way that Shikamaru didn't like. "Something about teaching you some more clan jutsu before you go off on your next mission."

She was onto them.

They would have to move their papers out of here before she was able to search his room and find out what they were doing while he was away.

The groan that left him was for both having to move to train some more with his father and having to move the information they had acquired on Kisame and Itachi to another house. "So troublesome."

His mother frowned and immediately began to harp at him about needing to get a better attitude if he wanted to get anywhere in life.

* * *

"So, the reason you want me to tell you about Itachi Uchiha is because he hurt some guy?" Kisame made out even as he munched on the fish-related treats Chouji had cooked up.

Ino frowned, immediately correcting, "Gen-Gen; Genma Shiranui; is not just _some_ guy." she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's the nicest person to ever live."

The shark-nin let out a harsh bark of laughter upon hearing this, his eyes closing in mirth. Instead of continuing to eat, he placed the piece of sushi he was going to pop into his mouth back onto the table in front of him. And then he proceeded to pound at the table with his fist, falling into a fit of uncontrollable laughter that left a sour taste in the Yamanaka's mouth.

"That's hilarious!"

Ino rolled her eyes and puffed out in slight irritation at the traitor's guffaws. But she allowed him to laugh himself out- she wouldn't bother with trying to explain himself when he could barely hear her, after all.

Eventually, Kisame's laughter became very subtle scoffs of amusement. And when this happened, Ino asked, "Are you usually this immature? Or are you being particularly stupid because I'm a genin?"

Kisame's smirk attempted to be vicious- but, for some reason, Ino believed it succeeded much better at seeming amused than actually trying to convey a possible threat. "Give me a break. I haven't heard a joke that funny in at least a decade. Let a guy laugh."

"It wasn't a joke." the blonde stated plainly, readjusting her seat so she could cross her left leg over her right knee. "Genma Shiranui is the kind of guy that would give you his last bit of money if you needed it. He's selfless to a fault."

With a shake of his head, the hulking man grabbed the piece of sushi he had dropped before he had subjected Ino to an unnecessary round of raucous laughter. "No one's that selfless, guppy. Humanity's inherently selfish. If this guy seriously has given you his money, then it's all just a ploy to get your trust." he finished his statement with a sharp clasping of his teeth after he had thrown the piece of sushi within his mouth.

 _Oh_.

Kisame was one of _those_ people.

Ino blinked dumbly for a moment, allowing her thoughts to fully form.

This was an incredibly useful insight into Kisame's mind. He was a pessimistic man- but that pessimism was carefully hidden beneath layers of cynicism and snark. He didn't see how a person could be selflessly good. He didn't believe in the inherent kindness of someone. And that meant that he had undoubtedly been betrayed by someone he had _possibly_ loved at some point before he had gone rogue.

"Well, I know most people suck." she relented, "But..."

Her words died down here. She wanted to tell Kisame about Zabuza and how Genma had managed to pull out the good in _him_. But Shikamaru had ruled that talking about the other Kiri-native would cause Kisame to freeze them out. Possibly, if he heard about the guy, he would even start to feel that Ino's reasons to talk to him went even further than just wanting to learn about Itachi- which they did, but the brute didn't need to know that.

Ino sighed. She knew Shika was right.

"But what?"

"Nothing." she sighed, "I guess that people just suck."

Closing her eyes, Ino breathed in deeply before puffing out all the air quickly.

How was she supposed to get through to this guy if he was such a downer?

"But, at least you're transparent about what you want."

Ino was absolutely surprised by Kisame starting the conversation back up. And when she looked up at the guy, it was to find him shrugging noncommittally. "I can respect that, guppy."

_Respect that._

_GUPPY._

Ino wanted to break out dancing.

* * *

Tenten had been tasked with housing Kisame's cloak after they had managed to steal it.

If Kiba had taken it, his family would immediately know what garment he had with him. The Inuzuka sense of smell was incredibly precise and acute; it could sniff out something that didn't belong in little to no time. And because he lived with professional trackers like his mother and sister, there was no way in the world that the cloak that clearly smelled of a dangerous adversary would _not_ be found out.

And seeing how Sasuke lived in the Haruno home, where he still did not know all of the hiding places, he could not take the cloak. Even though Naruto would probably help him hide the thing, the risk was too great with Genma and Zabuza skulking around. Along with Sakura's parents and a constant traffic of people entering and leaving the house, that house would be a dangerous place to stash the stolen item.

So, really, the only one of them that could house the cloak after they had stolen it had been her. While her apartment was small, she had carved out a dozen different hiding areas throughout the years of inhabiting the space to be able to hide the garment from her parents. And while her father was a good ninja, he wasn't a tracker that could sniff out oddities like the Inuzuka. And her mother was just a civilian that loved to live too much to question too much. If she told her parents that she was hiding this cloak because inside she had rare weapons, they would not question her.

Sealed inside of an impermeable bag that Kiba had given her, Tenten had decided to leave it hidden within her room. She had a safe etched into her wall that was big enough to hide various small weapons. It was her toughest safe and only she knew about its location. It was hidden behind a covering that looked identical to her wall and blended in perfectly. And laid over that was a large wooden display for some of her decorative swords- in essence, someone would have to know what to look for to find the safe.

Supposedly, the bag they had left the cloak within was made specifically for tracking by Inuzuka clan scientists. From what she had been explained, it was supposed to seal out all contaminants and keep the inside fresh, so as to keep the scent of the person alive and untampered. In essence, this bag was supposed to facilitate a tracker's job in a way that other sealing bags weren't capable of.

Right now, Tenten was just about finished with her current task of returning her swords to their proper location. Strewn along her bedroom were sharpening and oiling tools- she had taken advantage of the fact that she had moved the swords out of the way to take care of them like they deserved. Even though her collection wasn't big by any means, it was cherished.

There was a knock on her door and the kunoichi smiled to herself as she called for whoever it was to open up, she was just about finished with her swords.

With the way they had left another cloak, dark and very similar to Kisame's own, within the proper spot in the Evidence Vault, no one would suspect foul play for a while. And even if they did, they would not be able to link any of the actual thieves to the crime that had been committed. They had all done everything within their power to leave no tracks behind.

Ino had said that, even though this was a high stake's case to be working on, Konohagakure probably would not send trackers out for Itachi so soon after they had managed to capture Kisame. Konoha, apparently, had a bad habit of resting on their laurels after a successful mission- mostly out of pride, but also out of caution. They were so worried about stepping on any tails that Konoha would wait during a grace period of a few weeks to follow up on big leads like this.

Of course, during that grace period they were going to be interrogating Kisame and trying to get him to talk about the organization he belonged to. But because they were so sure of their momentary victory and the infallibility of their technology, the Village tended to become complacent.

When her door opened up, she was elated to find Hashirama Senju smiling broadly at her. "Tenten! I have need of your assistance!"

This guy never had a justifiable reason to say such a thing. Sure, he was a great teacher and helped Guy-sensei out a lot when it came to teaching her and her two teammates. But whenever he announced that he needed her help, it usually turned out that he was bored and the assistance Tenten would be offering was simply distracting him from his boredom.

With a shake of her head, the kunoichi placed the final sword back in its place and crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you really need my help this time? Or are you just trying to find a way to avoid the monotony of your daily life?"

The tall man's eyes sparkled with mirth as he leveled, "Okay, no, I don't. But you're, technically, the only friend I have in this era that is not my own. You're stuck with me, child."

The younger of the two let out a small snort, then made her way towards the far corner of her room. Housed there was a small vault that had cost her quite the pretty penny, in which she kept the weapons she went into battle with. "Friendly spar, then?"

Her hand had been on its way to unlocking the vault when she heard the man's booming voice echo in her room with a loud, "No!"

She blinked momentarily, then turned back around. Hashirama still wore a proud smile, even though he had just said no to her favorite activity in the world. She loved sparring with this man so much that she considered it to be the second best thing to do on a boring day; second only to harassing Farmen man at his job.

"Then..." she pursed her lips slightly as she tried to read Hashirama. But the guy was good at maintaining his unique type of poker face. "What are we going to do?"

Most people's poker faces were completely neutral; devoid of identifiable emotions. With lips drawn tight and eyebrows narrowed ever so slightly, the norm for the ninja was to look serious and detached when they didn't want their emotions to be read. But Hashirama Senju's poker face was something from another world. With a bright smile, he was able to throw anyone off of his actual emotions. The way in which his eyes sparkled with perfectly practiced mirth would make anyone believe he was absolutely ecstatic to just be alive.

His poker face was so good, in fact, that it had taken her a few months of knowing the guy to notice that _this_ was the look he resorted to when he didn't want his emotions to be read.

In many cases, it worked perfectly for the guy. Anybody that didn't know this was his poker face would think that he was just feeling happy. But by this point, Tenten knew better than to just take things at face value.

So... what was he hiding?

"Come on! It'll be a great surprise."

Oh, she _really_ didn't like the sound of that.

~/~

Okay, so, the surprise hadn't been horrible.

First she had been forced to listen to Hashirama talk to her about earth style ninjutsu and its advantages on the field. Then she had been made to run some drills with that kind of jutsu- which she really wasn't dexterous at- until Hashirama had been content. And, finally, she had been wound up having to answer a bunch of questions about Neji and Rock Lee's own training schedules so they could coordinate a day in which Hashirama could get them all together.

And then she had been treated to enough dango to make her sick to her stomach.

Hashirama was a difficult man to understand sometimes. But he was incredibly simple at other times. And the dango had certainly been worth all of the hard work she had not enjoyed.

* * *

"They're attempting to break me through isolation. You're making that job incredibly difficult."

The few seconds after Kisame had told her this, Ino had not reacted. She had been too busy analyzing what had been said to try and react physically. But then she wasn't able to stop herself from smiling broadly over towards the shark-nin.

"Why're you smiling like that?"

"You _like_ me."

Kisame scoffed with an obvious roll of his eyes.

"Say that again and I'll gut you like a-"

"Guppy?"

Kisame sneered.

Ino smiled.

After a few seconds spent in absolute silence, the Yamanaka relented, "You're not half bad yourself, Kisame."

It kind of sucked, though, that she wasn't _lying_ when she said that. This was a jerk, no doubt. He barely had any good manners. He chose to insult her and her friends whenever she tried to convince him about their need to understand Itachi. His form of eating bordered on grotesque with how little he chewed. And he was so pigheaded on deflecting Ino's questions that she kind of hated him for how hard he had made this whole process. But he had grown on her.

He was still a monster. Ino had not lost sight of this. And he was still very much one of the main reasons as to why they had not yet been able to truly follow through with their plans of making Itachi pay. He was not the kind of man that deserved Genma Shiranui's magic in his life, after all. And Ino was aware of all this.

But she wasn't pigheaded enough to try and lie to herself about how spending time with this guy had slowly made her like him- to a degree. She'd leave that pigheadedness to the idiot that was still trying to convince her that he didn't like her to _any_ degree. She could admit to herself that talking to him was fun; his way of seeing the world, while bleak, was completely novel to her. His determination was unlike anything she had ever witnessed before. And his intense loyalty for Itachi and the organization they worked for, while annoying and an obstruction, was something she could applaud.

"Whatever." he grunted after silence had stretched out between them for long enough. "Shouldn't you be running off at this point? You've been here for at least an hour."

But if there was one thing Ino was really starting to hate herself for noticing, it was how adorable it was that Kisame insisted on being seen as a grouchy and unconcerned individual, even when he very clearly cared.

This was the first time he had expressed concern about the amount of time she had spent with him. He knew more than well right now that she wasn't supposed to be in here and she risked getting into quite a large amount of trouble if she was caught by her superiors. But this certainly wasn't the first time he mentioned something or asked a question that let Ino know he truly was intrigued by her.

"I _should_ get going, huh?" she remarked after spending a few seconds thinking about the best way to answer his statement. "Same time next week."

With a shove at the empty container in which she had brought today's meal, Kisame grunted, "I'll be here."

That was a shitty attempt at a joke.

Ino couldn't help but smile.

This guy really had grown on her.

* * *

Sakura was in charge of making sure that neither Genma nor Zabuza ruined all of the work done onto them by Konoha's medican ninja. A job which, in reality, was easier said than done.

"I told you I was fine, pinkie. Now if you don't want a knife shoved so far up your ass-" Zabuza's enraged growling didn't phase her at all. Just three weeks ago, she would have cowered away from him. But in only those three weeks, he had threatened her so many times that she now understood all those threats were completely baseless.

"You're still in danger of permanent nerve damage if you push yourself too much." she stated with an unimpressed frown on her lips. "If you end up paralyzed from the waist down because you refused to listen to me and calm down, I swear I'm going to shove that knife you threatened me with so far up _your_ ass-"

Zabuza's eyes barely widened. But the amount they did move let Sakura know he certainly had not been expecting her to turn the tables on him in such a crass manner.

And, normally, she wouldn't have resorted to growling like Momochi did when he was annoyed. But she was tired and her nerves were so frayed over everything that had happened in the last few weeks that she really couldn't blame herself for having such a short fuse.

Moving Genma into her home had not been easy. She had ended up having to work a lot to make everything perfect for the best and only babysitter she had ever had in her life. And then making sure that everything was settled for Zabuza and Haku had been yet another large process to take care of... and as if that hadn't been enough, she now had to share a home with three boys, alongside her parents.

Before all of these changes had taken place, she had honestly believed that it would be incredibly fun to live in the same house as Naruto and Sasuke. And having Haku around would be great! He knew how to braid hair and was a calming presence for the other boys.

She had been young and naïve when she had thought like that. Now... now, she knew better than to think that living in a house with so many idiotic males would be anything close to enjoyable.

"Whoah, is everything alright in here?"

It was good that Genma came in to interrupt her threat. There was a chance Zabuza might spew out some childish insult back at her. And that really would have set her off.

With a final glare at Momochi, Sakura turned to look at Genma as he arrived at the door that led into the kitchen. "He doesn't want to take his medicine."

Without allowing a single heartbeat to pass in silence, the hulking mass of stupidity groaned, "I'm _fine_. And I have been for months."

To be a fully fledged jounin-level missing nin, Zabuza was a huge crybaby. He hated the taste of the medicine he had to take, and that was the only reason he would actually risk _permanent nerve_ _damage_ and not listen to Sakura.

Even though Sakura was at the end of her wits with many of the things the guys around her did, there was one saving grace. Even though Genma could be just as stupid as the rest of them, he also proved to have the most moments of logical thinking amongst all of them. So, when he scolded Zabuza for acting so childishly, Sakura thanked the heavens that at least he could understand the need for the Mist ninja to drink his damn medicine.

She... needed a vacation.

Making sure these two didn't harm themselves in any way was graying her hair, she was sure. She hadn't found any evidence to this hypothesis yet, but it was only a matter of time before she found her first gray hair.

"C'mon, Zabuza. It's just some medicine. And you risk some pretty bad damage to your body if you don't take it. Isn't it better to just swallow your pride and the medicine?"

Zabuza's glare turned deadly as he looked at Genma.

"It's not just _some_ medicine."

Sakura could concede that the pill he had to take was unnaturally large and smelled rather foul. But that didn't mean that the crybaby could use such characteristics as a good reason _to not drink the medicine that could keep his dumb ass_ _healthy_.

Genma's smile never faltered, taking Zabuza's mood in a smooth stride. "I'm stuck in a wheelchair if I want to head out of this house. And even in here, I've got to suck up using crutches. We've got to make some sacrifices to ensure our health, Momochi."

Sakura pursed her lips at the examples this man was giving, knowing full well that not one day ago she had needed to force him to sit down in the wheelchair when they went to the market to buy some groceries for her house.

These two were idiots... and they, unfortunately, really did set the bar for the amount of logic that was used by the rest of the people within her house.

After he wasted a few further seconds glaring at Genma, Zabuza scoffed at them and turned to look over at the dinner table. On it, rather close to the edge he was nearest to, was a glass of water. Beside this glass was a pill the size of the tip of Sakura's pinkie finger.

"Should've let me die if you were gonna torture me like this."

Sakura feigned not having heard the man as she looked back at Genma... and promptly became incensed once again.

"Where in the world are your crutches?!"

* * *

When she entered Kisame's interrogation room, it was with a heavy frown on her lips.

It was the first thing Kisame noted. It was also the first thing the shark-like man commented on.

"Did someone hurt your precious Shiranui again?" his tone was lilted in what was an attempt to be lighthearted. But there was the undeniable inflection of too much sarcasm that let Ino know this man was thinking about more than just making fun of her.

"Of course not. I wouldn't be here- I'd be hunting down the jerk that hurt that angel."

Kisame scoffed and shook his head, but he soon motioned to the shackles that kept him tied to the wall. Without saying anything, the kunoichi made her way towards him and began to unlock the harsh metal that kept him in place with the key they copied after swiping the original a few weeks ago.

Once he was free, Kisame stretched his body and shook off the tension he undoubtedly housed. Then he looked over at the bag slung over Ino's shoulder and quirked an eyebrow. It didn't take a mind reader to know that the man was expecting the food that was housed within.

Rolling her eyes, the blonde handed the bag over to the shark man. He offered one much too toothy smile at her- probably, such a sight would have scared any regular person; but it looked pretty amusing to Ino. And then he lumbered towards the table in the middle of the room, sat himself clear in the middle of the table, and reached into the bag for his food.

"So, if not that guy, what's got your skirt up in a twist?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed before she answered him. "This is the fourth week I visit you and I haven't gotten any new information on Itachi Uchiha."

He didn't even seem to be bothered by her straightforward attack on him.

They were getting nowhere. At this rate, they would be better off just having Kiba run off to chase after Kisame's scent in the hopes he would be able to find anything that led him to Itachi.

"I told you I wasn't about to snitch." he rummaged through the bag for a bit before he pulled out the bento box Chouji had prepared. Then he blinked at the extra box left inside. "Trying to poison me?"

Ino smiled softly, "Wouldn't be hard, now would it?" she teased slightly, only to explain, "Some dessert that was left over from last night's dinner. My mom made some matcha mooncakes."

She moved so she could grab hold of the chair opposite Kisame, then dragged it back so she could sit down and look at the man even as he was seated in a completely inappropriate place.

When she finally managed to sit down, it was to find Kisame glaring at her through narrowed eyes.

The ice in his eyes actually caught her off guard. "What did I do wrong?"

He frowned. "Absolutely nothing."

Then he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. "Tell me about this Shiranui guy."

For a few seconds, Ino was absolutely taken aback by what she heard from him. But then she properly processed what he had said and struggled to not break out smiling.

She was breaking through this guy!

~..~..~

Please review!

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a short sequel to Genma Shiranui: Mother Hen Extraordinaire that will follow the cast during the three year skip that took place before Shippuden! I hope you all liked this chapter and are wholly prepared for a ride!
> 
> Please review and tell me what y'all thought!


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